The little things….make the biggest difference

Oh joy. My next-door neighbours are moving to England next year, and have decided to free themselves of all local liabilities/assets, starting with the sale of their house.This simply means there is a constant stream of strangers walking past my house to get to theirs. It wouldn’t quite be so bad except they park their cars all over the place, take up all the lots and basically block all the residents’ own cars when we try to leave.Furthermore, EACH AND EVERYONE OF THEM seem to feel the need to "check out" their possible new neighbours. How do they do this? very discreetly. As they walk past, they turn their heads and stare into the house like it’s some kind of zoo exhibit. Some of them even walk into the garden and sometimes all the way up the porch to very openly stare right through the glass panelling. Excuse me. the open house is in the NEXT HOUSE, which means it’s NOT this house.

Talking to L-girl sometimes can be delightfully refreshing.She’s just so completely lacking in the "humility" gene. heh. but it’s fun. who else in the world would suggest you call them princess isa, and then go on to recount the days events based on who paid her what compliment?hahaha. OL.

Integrity is when you integrate all parts of your life. You do not have an assortment of different facades which you show to different groups of people. You are you. Regardless of the circumstance and company, your mannerisms and behavior remain consistent.Integrity is only achievable when you have developed enough self-respect to remain comfortable with yourself regardless of the company you keep or the people who you are associating with.Why? Because if you honestly respected yourself enough, you would not be willing to pretend to be someone and something you’re not for the sake of another person, or just to be "liked".

Do You Have Integrity?

-i don’t understand myself when it comes to you.and it scares me.

Saturday came and went in a blur. a happy blur, but still a blur.

LATE at night, jamie(sounds wrong) im’ed me to tell me our dance stuff had arrived.Yay!!! after an uber long time!!new dance stuff now.heh

Not-so-early sunday morning, i got a lift first to her place to collect the stuff,then onward to LADC for L.J by XiaoYuan.

LJ was fun! haha. but the class size was somewhat larger than i remember from the last time i got my schd mixed up and arrived half-an-hour late for class.hee.

Afterward it was pointe shoe shopping with Mr F. I cabbed down to bugis, which took an unusually long time due to traffic jams.Even then i was early,so made calls to the rest to check where they were. turns out they were all at bugis finding ways to kill time because they were early.

So we eventually all met up(including Mr F and walked to golden landmark. When we finally found the costume shop, we entered the shop, and the lady who saw Mr F went "hey! "LANG ZAI" you’re here!!"

(btw. for those of you who don’t speak cantonese. "LANG ZAI" means handsome boy)

needless to say, we burst out into peals of laughter,all except for Mr F who happily continued talking to her like some very old friends.entertaining trip.After ensuring that we were not going to destroy the shop with our antics, he left to teach his 5 o’clock class, and felicia,jamie/leezard,nat and i went to pastamania for much needed sustanence.

We evenually reached the studio about an hour early for class.Gigy wasn’t around, and the other receptionists were really dao, so we just started stretching to pass time.

As usual, class ended approx. 30 mins late, and then it was home sweet home.After bathing and having dinner, we started watching th taped dancefloor. Okay. the format of the show is really starting to annoy me.They spend half the show talking, and when they finally show the dances, they don’t even show you the entire dance! hello. It’s a dance show. meaning the people who watch it want to see actual DANCING. retards.

Next week is the shuffle round hopefully Then they’ll show us WHOLE dances.

I was on the phone with Ally earlier,thinking up weird stuff.haha. It’s fun chatting with her.She read an article from her photobook.interesting. never knew those things.but it makes sense. =)

oh. if any of you are interested in dance, check this out

www.ladanceconnection.com

okie, i really feel like eating Peking duck, so i’m going to see if i can’t find someone in my family to take me to eat it.hehe.ciao!

Well folks, I AM OFFICIALLY SCREWED.By this time tomorrow,i am going to have less life left in me than the fish we ate for dinner.

why?

Because i tried to recall my center work earlier and i COMPLETELY BLANKED.That’s 12 exercises we’ve learnt so far, and 12 reasons for someone to bite my head off tomorrow during class, plus lack of timing,emoting,technique,etc.To make things worse, i can’t even meet darling leezard earlier to try to recover some of the lost data because we have an appointment with the very person who is going to bite my head off before class.ARGHH.

okay. so if you’ll excuse me, I think i’ll go hide somewhere and start hyperventilating now.

and leezard?i bet everyone else in class is thinking what if i fall off my pointes?" so you’re not alone.trust me.

and the thought that you msged me yesterday is DISGUSTING.WIPE IT OFF YOUR MIND NOW.

EDIT: DENISE JUST TOLD ME THERE WAS NO L.J LAST WEEK. SO THERE’S NO CATCHING UP TO DO.I <3 HER NOW OKAY.WAHAHA.

so maybe i won’t hyperventilate so much now =)

Caught the show "Blood Diamond" at vivo today with adeline and alison, met them for the show and then we rushed off for our respective classes.heh

Anyway. For anyone who hasn’t caught the show, i highly recommend it. It’s violent,realistic,action-packed, and yet was touching enough to make me cry. I can’t remember the last time i cried while watching a movie.I am SO getting the dvd.

After that was Alycia’s ballet. I haven’t attended that class in almost 2 months. New people in class again,basic stuff, but it was fun.Had a short chat with alycia after class about studio differences and …people.haha. It’s such a small world, everyone seems to know everyone. especially if their from lasalle.On second thought. even if their not they still know each other..Singapore is small =)

Went for a yummy prata supper afterward,ate ALOT.even for me! haha. extra crunches tomorrow.Nobody has a VHS player nowadays, so back to my house because they wanted to watch TDF.strange how everyone seems to have class or activities during it’s screening hours.oh well.

Tomorrow i intend to be a slacker.other than class, and conditioning, and maybe meeting a few darlings for serious retail therapy,On Sunday is lyrical jazz with Daph/Xiaoyuan.Yay! lyrical jazz!! cannot wait.(Unfortunately i missed class the other week, but maybe a miracle will happen and i’ll catch up.heh. you never know right?)

Afterward is pointe shoe outing with Mr.F and the girls. Should be fun.I think i’ll cab to avoid the rush.(the mrt is unreliable and buses even more so.)Wonder how we’ll get back to the studio.haha. okay. must remember to dress NICELY.it is best to comply to avoid moodswings.

It sounds like a fun weekend, not forgetting it all ends with pyjama dance!!.haha. i’m high now, and i fully blame it on those cute little bottles of cosmo’s we purchased from ikea.yums.

okay. i think mummy bought those delish strawberry squares from atitudes. the ones they never seem to sell when i’m there,so i’m off to devour a few.heh. adios peeps!

note to self:bring FULLY CHARGED camera on sunday to photowhore!!funness. 

L-girl* just finished telling me about her ballet class today. She took Mr F’s ballet foundation, and according to her, he spoke as if he had a loudspeaker and was mean because he didn’t pay attention to a new student. hahahaha

Yes. i wish THAT qualified him as "mean" in my book. But then again. She’s never seen him when he’s…volatile.Maybe i should invite her for a inter-found class.Provided Leezard doesn’t kill me first for increasing the class size again.heh.

ohoh!and according to her, he was in a bad mood. i’m suddenly unexplainably happy i couldn’t make it for class today.

nonetheless.yes. i do fully agree with Dapheny. Mr F is a very good teacher. His teaching style is highly effective,if a little eccentric.And he actually cares about his students on a teacher student basis.well. when he’s in a good mood that is.but everyone has their shortcomings right?

Anyway. I have decided to started to start a little book where i shall note down all the little kind acts and nice things people do for me. because it’s so true that we tend to remeber the bad and forget the good, which, come to think of it is actually quite ungrateful.

This time, i’m going to try to focus on the positive.What’s the point of making life any unhappier for anyone right?

oh.i want to start a photomemory album too. anyone have any idea where i can get a nice book or album?

*names have been changed to protect privacy. and to preserve my life =p

Was watching a programme earlier on the healthy food label.

The camera zoomed in on a box of cookies, on which was written

"WARM AND DELICIOUS"

haha. If the cookies are in a box,and have been sitting on a shelf for God knows how long before you purchase them,how on earth do they stay warm??

During the advert break, i finished my pudding and started examining the bottom of the plastic container that it came in. I found a warning label which stated

"WARNING:DO NOT TURN THIS PRODUCT OVER. CONTENTS MAY FALL OUT"

okay. if i’m not supposed to turn it over, how do i get to read the label??

haha. okay. so maybe i’m nit-picking.Yes. i am extremely grumpy because i can’t go for ballet later.BOO.

no plies.no tendues.no pas de bourees.no glisses.no grand battements.no port de bras.no jetes.no foudus.no poses.no changements.no smiles.

Today was a shopping day.A shopping day interrupted by many discoveries and peppered by little bitching sessions set off by said discoveries.How sad that some people can be so hypocritical. For a moment there i honestly thought there was some hope in that friendship.

Oh well. that’s just too bad isn’t it.But be warned. if you bear grudges,if you are unable to let go of old feuds and senseless arguements,they rot in you, and they start to fester. It’s not a pretty sight.and it certainly doesn’t do anything positive for you.so what’s the point?

Anyway.

In the midst of a very leisurely lunch with some good friends today, we stumbled upon the topic of our old school teachers and class experiences. One which stood out in particular was Mr P. We recalled the first time he took our class, how difficult we tried to make his life from the very first "interview" he had with us,how we were unfriendly and sometimes downright disrespectful,and the things we did to try to make him feel uncomfortable at first (although some of us never stopped doing it).

Why? you may ask. Why wouldn’t we treat him as we would any other teacher? Didn’t we want to give him a chance?

The reason was simple. Through no fault of his own,he had entered a class which had already bonded with it’s previous teacher, Mr S. Said teacher  was a charismatic humourous teacher with many years of teaching experience under his belt.Of course, seeing as how it was a girl’s school, it also helped that he was good-looking, and the fact that some girls in class had *strong feelings of admiration* for him only served to extend his influence and popularity.

*read:crushes*

(I fully admit that the past few statements were tainted with partiality and bias on my part)

And then one day a group of students walk into class, only to find not only a new school timetable(which was fully expected) but also a new teacher waiting for them.

Class must have been miserable for Mr P for a substantial period of time.Almost everyone insisted that they preferred subjects other then his, and everyone was very mean. in general. But instead of stomping into the Principal’s office in exasperation, Mr P through sheer determination.and some sweets. managed to eventually win the majority of the class over.

So what does it take to make something suceed?

in this case, it took determination,a cutting sense of sarcasm(used in a humourous manner)and some ingeunity(be honest now. it wouldn’t have worked as well without the sweets)

so what does it take to suceed in dance?

For those of you who go back with me to that situation.There’s nothing behind this. just ramblings caused by a thought invoking lunch.

Insecurity can be a very painful process.It can eat away at you and reduce you to a sullen unhappy mess.It causes you to wonder what it is that makes you worthy as a individual,if anything at all.It draws your mind to the worst posibilities and the most negative scenarios.It plagues you with fears.A deluge of pessimistic thoughts overwhelm your mind.It makes the world seem bleak and gray.void of colour and sound.worthless.unhappy.

What if?

what if i’m not good enough?

what if i don’t measure up?

what if i fail?

what if everything turns out to be a big mess?a joke?

What if. i wonder

and then we look at the only things in life that make a difference.

love.hope.God

AND WE PRAY.and it makes all the difference

yes. i am insecure.i am unsure of myself.unsure of all the what if’s.

but

faith is the substance of things unseen.

and so.

i will pray.and i will trust.

i will put insercurity in a crate and lock it up.put it in the palm of my almighty Father and then it will be gone.The world will be colourful again.